It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
If I die, sorry about rent.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
