11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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