What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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