My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
this will be a night to untag.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
