i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
