I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
