38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
