dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
