3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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