Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Green mimosas i think yes
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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