youre lurking in front of me
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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