please come you make the beer taste better
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
