You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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