try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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