Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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