im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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