like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
