She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
It was confusing and full of hummus
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
FUCK WHALES
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
