when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
