Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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