I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
she looked like the before picture.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
