You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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