He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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