ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Randomize
