I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
