Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Randomize
