how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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