Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
