She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
this hospital has no fireball
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
