video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
