I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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