people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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