literally had 100 drinks last night.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
