I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
