bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
