Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
