He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
