moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
It's just like the Real World with babies
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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