Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
