When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
