Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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