You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
