Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
