Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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