i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Randomize
