uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
He has the fingertips of a God
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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