why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
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