just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
My vagina is officially offended.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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