So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
