you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
