wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
