I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
