In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
